This in conclusion to my last post, will be filled with my hopes and dreams for the hopefully somewhat near future. BUT Im not going to dive right into it just yet.
(I am promising that I wont ramble on today, and run out of time again. he he ha ha)
I have been slightly overwhelmed this week in many different aspects, which in turn unfortunately means I have been a tad bit crabbier than normal. Of course normal means never being crabby.....right. ;)
With all that comes with the elections (thank God they are passed) I have been a little more on edge. Through all of these different subjects that tend to arise and different opinions that get thrown around, I came to a sudden realization that the "Mr." and I have a VAST amount of things that we do not see eye to eye on....were not even in the same ball park, in fact we might possibly be on completely separate continents. So that being said, I spent many nights the past week crying my oh so secret tears. I assume its normal to not see eye to eye on everything, but I don't understand how we could be coming from to exact opposite ends of the spectrum and still be one as a couple. Its driving me nuts. And how do you date someone for months and completely bypass all of the important things that your morals and lives are built upon....
Am I just blowing things our of proportion? probably....
Well, than I had a slight case of amnesia about who I serve and who wholly takes care of me last night, when not the candidate of choice won the election. I bawled again every-time someone looked at me. But was quickly reminded that no matter what happens in this world, Jesus is still on the thrown. not my will, but his be done.
All that being said, onto the explanation of da da da MY FUTURE.
Last weeks when I posted my previous blog, I was so ecstatic about this plan that I had devised. That plan being this.
I have ALWAYS (ever since childhood) had an interest in cosmetology....what teenage girl didn't. In high school I told everyone that make up was my art, It was always my house that everyone came to get ready for school dances, and I was always the one doing everyone's hair and make-up. I have a sick passion for fashion which explains the majority of my credit card bills.
The reason that I always said no to beauty school was because I let someone else words reign as law in my life.
I used to have these two leaders back in high school that went to my church. I was like one of their mini me's, and my best friend was the other. We did absolutely EVERYTHING with them. The lead a missions trip to El Salvador one year, and my Bff and I went with them. A lot of things happened on that trip, most of which were not great, but the one incident that I for some reason will never ever forget, was sadly the one thing holding me back from something I believe God called me to long ago.
It was our last night in El Salv, and we had an early flight so all of us girls decided to pull an all nighter. We were all kind of bored and just sitting around, so I offered to give everyone make overs. Everyone got all excited about it, so I took about ten of the girls and started plucking, brushing, applying and teaching the art of the infamous pucker. The girls looked amazing when I had finished, many of them hadn't ever even held a mascara wand before much less knew what to do with it once the wand was in hand. So needless to say everyone was even more excited after completion, and I of course was feeling pretty good about myself.
My leader took me aside about ten minuets later and started in with the, I know that you did an amazing job, and you certainly made this night a night to remember for a lot of these girls, however I have a strong request for you......
She made me promise that I would never ever going into cosmetology as a living, saying that I could do so much more with my life. That I had more purpose than this, and that I just shouldn't even consider it.
long story short, our relationship didn't last long after that trip. her and her husband did a lot of shady things towards me that honestly rooted themselves deep down inside of myself. Things that I didn't understand at the time, and took years for me to get rid of. In fact I came to the realization a few years ago that even though I had not been friends with them for almost three years at that time, I was still doing EVERYTHING within my power to please them. They had planted themselves and their thinking so deep down inside of who I was that it literally took YEARS for me to realize that they were still holding me back.
Well long story shorter. I have been in a panic about my future for the last month or so, when it dawned on me....why am I not going to beauty school. What would I love more than getting up and doing hair, chatting with people every day....pretty much nothing.
Than it again dawned on me that they were the only thing holding me back. They haven't been a part of my life for years, why should I be afraid that anyone especially them would think any less of me.
I am going to do something great with my life, weather Im doing hair, or brushing teeth for a living. I am going to make a difference.
Now that I have finally gotten that out,
to spare the lengthy-ness of this post from getting any lengthier,
this blog (again) will have to be "to be continued".......
sorry :)
XXOO
